My addiction to possibilities...

I've been battling a nasty sinus infection for some time and not feeling good has had me doing some channel surfing while snuggled up in bed. I did find myself mesmerized, disgusted and in awe when the channel surfing ended on the show "Hoarders". I looked in disgust at piles of smelly garbage and these people who have lived that way for years and it's like they don't even see the nightmare that their life has become. How on earth does that begin? How do you go from a functioning member of society one day to being unable to throw away anything ever?

A few years ago, I went thru a phase where I willingly sold most of my worldly belongings and packed up to move 2500 miles and start a new life in a new place in a 30 foot motor-home. Hind sight being better than the vision I had at that particular time, asks me what the *bleep* was I thinking! At the time I felt I was giving something my very last bit of effort to say I did everything I could before I would have to say goodbye and allow life to take me on to the place I truly belonged.

I will say it was very freeing to just let things go. To see my salon equipment go to a new hairstylist who had that fresh-out-of-cosmetology school excitement made me feel good. Then there were a couple of newly weds who received household goods that would no longer be needed in what my little girl called "our house on wheels".

The only thing I had a difficult time letting go of was my fabric stash. I was just like one of those crazy old cat ladies who has their double wide trailer stacked to the rafters with "things I can make something out of". I forced myself to sell some pieces and the hardest part was that each piece had been lovingly selected over the years as I had worked at fabric stores or had envisioned beautiful outfits for my little kids but never quite had the time to make all the things that I had intended to for them. Selling that particular piece of fabric meant the death of that dream and that particular possibility.

                                                           My girls in the clothes I made them.

                                                        Afghanistan Quilt project 2008

 I vascilate between chucking it all and saving each and every thing I find. I have an inner battle that feels a bit like the 2 fairies in Sleeping Beauty fighting over which of their ways were right and I get stuck in the middle covered in pink and blue pixie dust. My fabric stash has been trimmed and trimmed and trimmed to the point where it is manageable(almost). My daughters have all had bags of fabric and notions passed their way and it does my heart good to know that maybe they can use it to make something that they envision. Even if it is different than the possibility I saw, maybe it will be something even better. It's been that way with alot of things. The dreams we have in our youth don't always work out but I am so very grateful for unanswered prayers and the broken road that has lead me right to where I am this very moment in time.

Our chicken's have started to lay eggs so Lexie has asked for an apron to gather eggs with so I better get sewing. Who knows what one of a kind invention we will come up with.